Big Mac vs. Big Carl

It’s been a slow news season. Anything interesting enough to talk about gets fucked apart pretty quickly by the major news networks and by the time I get a chance to crack wise about it all the good one-liners have been taken. I’m probably guilty of setting my Obama bar too high and am still waiting on some huge news before I even address his presidency. That basically leaves me to discuss insignificant points. That being said:

Big Mac

vs.

Big Carl

I hadn’t had a Big Carl, I tend to be a chicken sandwich guy. Still I was in a hurry for lunch and I know that burgers come out faster than any other sandwich so I ordered this bad boy up for the sake of time. I was blown away when I got this monstrous patty beast. The melt and sauce created a flaor halo around the whole thing that the wax paper strained to contain. I normally hate thousand island dressing but it works a lot better than plain mayo.

The burger swept me off my feet so much that I had to start telling all my other fast food junkie friends about it. No sooner had I started burger-proselytizing that people kept saying the Big Mac was better. I tried the McDonald’s harbinger to compare and I don’t understand. I’ve never been a fan of club sandwiches. The invasion of bread into the middle of sandwich country is aggression I can’t stand for. Although the thousand island dressing with some mustard mixed in does taste a bit better. The burger patties though don’t pack enough flavor. It’s a bit like eating a grilled cheese sandwich with a bit of ground beef in it.

I think people like the Big Mac not as a burger, but as an institution. The Big Carl is a way to get a great burger and a food coma for under around $2.50. The Big Mac however is a comforting bit of standardization. That Big Mac tastes exactly the same each time you order it, and nothing can taste like a Big Mac. Still, I think the Big Carl will usurp the Big Mac’s position as the bringer of Diabesity in this new decade.

Happy New Year!

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