Tipping pt. 1

Recently TikiMexico had an influx of visitiors. After a liberal amount of drink had been taken a town hall meeting was called to discuss important matters of policy. Once there a quorum was taken and we took off for a strip club. The place we chose was a juice bar. To those that don’t know strip clubs have various legislative bounds and one of the major ones is serving alcohol. A general rule of thumb is topless bars can sometimes serve, fully nude clubs can almost never serve alcohol. As the night wore on something started to nag at me. At a normal club there’s a mainstage where you can sit and watch the floor show and seats further back surrounding the club. If you’re at the mainstage you get lavished with attention, but you are expected to actively tip the dancer. I like this dynamic, if you like a girl you can move up and if you don’t you can move back. There is always girls wandering the floor asking if you’d like a private dance but beyond that you can be left to your own devices. This club was different. The main stage had a gap between the stage and the seating area, only about a foot wide but it was still a partition. This meant that after a dance the girl would come off the stage and walk through this stripper trench and collect cash from those at the main stage and then circle the entire club collecting cash from each guy there. This obligatory tip to every girl was a bit much for me. Yes, it’s only a buck or so but that’s to girls whose dancing was lame, slow, or stretch-marked. I usually like to reward the girls who keep fit, undergo dangerous surgery just to look better, or dance really well. This system though meant that you really were just paying to stay in the club. It was downright socialist. Considering most of the girls were choosing contemporary pop/Top40 music the average song length is 3:20. Each girl got two songs before they made the rounds. That means that every 6:40 you had to cough up a buck. This means that every 20 mins you had to pay out $3 ((3:20×2) x 3 girls@$1)) and every hour cost you $9. Considering the club cover was $18 you could easily spend $27 just to have an hour at the place. This is assuming you don’t get a private dance which doesn’t happen, you have to grab a dance. You just do. Normal rates are $20 a song for the private dance. So $47 gets you 1:03:20 of entertainment if you stay a bare minimum cheapskate. This soured my pickle really fast.

It wasn’t so much the price but the obligation. I was expected to spend around $50 and if I didn’t I was breaking the unspoken rule of that particular club. It got to be too much for one of my pals and he resoundingly clapped his hands together and transported myself and another guy next door to the sports bar. We sat at the bar and immediately got service by a girl who could easily be working next door and grabbed some $3.25 draft beers. Well, I grabbed a $5.50 G&T and was shocked that she actually paused to ask me what Gin I wanted. If I guessed I’d say out of the 30-40 so G&Ts I’ve ordered in my life I’ve only been asked this once what Gin I would prefer. We sat and chat, and she talked to us for a bit but mainly left us alone to our own devices and checked on us pretty damn regularly. Every drink we ordered we dropped another dollar on the table. We felt obligated to tip here too, but I felt great doing it. Never did this girl approach us for a tip but the implicit agreement that she’d give us quality service as long as we showed her some monetary gratitude. I was having such a great time that I didn’t even anally keep track of the time or add up how much I was spending vs. time. I was just enjoying some great atmosphere with televisions everywhere. At the strip club I was too annoyed to even enjoy the hot strippers. Here though was a girl who normally didn’t fit my tastes but damn if polite service isn’t a turn on.

This was the main difference, when the group got back together and we were saying how the strip club pissed off more than one of us the guys who were pro-strip club were saying we were being hypocritical. The obligatory tip was present between both services and we were just biased towards the bartenders. It’s true that I believe people who handle my food and drink should be taken care of but I don’t tip fast food servers. It may just have been that I can’t stand rewarding shitty service with obligated tips. I mean the girls were looking a little flat for a place where I pay to see nice bodies. Then again I did look at them naked, and maybe that does entitle them to a buck. I’m not sure there’s arguments either way. The main point is I wanted to see what everyone else thought, so comment it up. This will become the new law in TikiMexico.

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4 Responses to “Tipping pt. 1”

  1. I can’t believe i read through the whole thing…
    good writing =p

    nudity should be free

  2. tikimexican Says:

    I agree nudity should be free, but I guess someone has to pay for the speakers and lighting. What if there was a jukebox and each song had a girl’s picture by it? I’d pay to keep the girls I like dancing, or hear my songs. I should patent that idea…

  3. As the man who clapped his hands, I have to say I agree 100% with what was said here. The ONLY ONLY ONLY thing that may have swayed me in favor of the strip club would have been the availability of alcohol – but then I would have been spending ~$50/hr at least, which would have only depressed me more the next morning.

    The argument I always came up with was as follows:

    *stripper dances*
    *stripper walks off stage*
    *stripper 2 begins dancing*
    *stripper 1 walks over* “hey so did you see me dance?”
    *me incredulously* “NO. Because when you were dancing, some other stripper came over and started hassling me. And when stripper 2 asks me the same question, I’ll tell her the same thing, because instead of watching her, I’m busy explaining the same goddamn thing to you for the 5th time.”

    If you’re up front, you SHOULD tip. But we were posted up in the back, scoping out who to buy dances from. The $1 they were hassling from each of us cost them about $60 in dances we most likely would have bought.

    But all in all, it was OK, because the scene at the bar next door was legit, and really made the whole night an overall success.

    Never before have I had such a negative opinion on tipping. Then again, never before (except on Blackstone Ave) have I ever been hassled more for a motherfucking dollar.

  4. Also:

    “I’ll pay for either the prevention or the cure, but all you’re giving me is the sickness.”

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